Embracing Failure

I have always been called tenacious, one of the qualities I am most proud of. I am sure it comes from having viral meningitis at 11 and then bacterial meningitis at the age of 13 - they said it was a miracle that I managed to overcome both. As a result, I was put on medication, including antibiotics, for a whopping 12 years. So, my fighting spirit and resilience were ignited early on and from then I never saw failure as an option.

Now, all these years later, as a mother, passionate traveller and seeker of new experiences, I have come to realise, particularly over the past few years and following my divorce, or as some would put it, failed marriage, that failure comes in all shapes and sizes and is an integral part of life's journey. Failure was not a word I wanted to associate myself with and yet while it may seem counterintuitive, failure has the power to transform us, push our boundaries, and ultimately lead us to success and new beginnings. 

Failure often presents itself as uncharted territory, a path less travelled. It can manifest in various forms – a business venture that didn't take off, one that started and then failed, a relationship that didn't work out, or a personal goal that remained unachieved.  Failure is not merely a dead end; it is a valuable teacher in disguise and provides us with invaluable lessons. It teaches us humility, resilience, and the importance of perseverance. Through failure, we gain a deeper understanding of our strengths and weaknesses, allowing us to make better decisions and navigate future challenges with wisdom.

In the realm of business and finance, failure is often seen as a stepping stone to success. Many successful entrepreneurs and innovators have experienced multiple failures before achieving greatness. Failure fuels innovation by pushing us to think outside the box, encouraging us to take risks and explore new possibilities. It’s through failure that we learn to adapt, pivot, and ultimately create something extraordinary. Entrepreneur Richard Branson has been involved in several failed business ventures, including Virgin Cola, Virgin Cars, Virgin Publishing and Virgin Clothing. However, he holds an optimistic view of failure and recognises that we all must accept the thing we fear the most -- our failures-- as the path to success and growth. It’s in these moments of disappointment that we discover our true strength and resilience. Just like a traveller exploring a foreign land, failure allows us to step out of our comfort zones and embrace the unknown.

Amy Edmondson, the world’s leading expert on psychological safety, draws on a lifetime's research into the science of 'psychological safety' in her latest book, Right Kind of Wrong: Why Learning to Fail Can Teach Us to Thrive to show that the most successful cultures are those in which you can fail openly, without your mistakes being held against you. She says: ‘If you’re not failing, you’re not journeying into new territory.’ And she adds: ‘It’s impossible to count the wasted time and resources created by our failure to learn from failure.’

Just as travel broadens our horizons, failure expands our personal growth. It challenges us to confront our fears and step into the unknown. Failure forces us to re-evaluate our goals, priorities, and values. It encourages us to reflect on our choices and make necessary adjustments. By embracing failure and sitting with the feeling rather than pushing it away, we embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery, self-love and self-improvement.

A retreat allows us to do exactly that; to sit with our feelings - an essential part of growth, to explore our thoughts, face ourselves, inner demons even, our strengths and weaknesses and through fitness, meditation, yoga and/or therapy learn about who we are and why things didn’t work out the way we thought they should.

We put off the hard work of reflecting where we went wrong; it’s scary to dig deep and meet yourself as you may not like who you see but part of the journey is to learn to accept who you are and accept the mistakes you have made, what went wrong and yes, learn to love who you are and be grateful.

To truly appreciate the benefits of failure, we must shift our mindset. As former Prime Minister Winston Churchill said: ‘Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.’ Instead of viewing failure as a setback, we should see it as a new path towards success and a new chapter.

My father and father-in-law both died in 2020 during lockdown. This time took its toll on so many people, businesses, families and marriages. I was married for 23 years, and it ended in a two-minute conversation - 23 years over just like that. The feeling of failure, layered on top of grief engulfed me for months until I found myself on a journey of growth and resilience. Failure is not a reflection of our worth; it is a natural part of the human experience. By reframing failure as an opportunity for growth, we can cultivate resilience and bounce back stronger than ever before.

Failure is an inevitable and essential part of life. Without failure it’s difficult to define success. It challenges us, tests our limits, and shapes us into the individuals we are meant to become. Embracing failure allows us to cultivate resilience, tenacity, learn valuable lessons, and ultimately achieve our potential. I no longer fear failure, but rather embrace it as a catalyst for personal and professional growth. Just like a seasoned traveller, I have set out on this journey with an open mind, ready to embrace the unknown and discover the extraordinary within me.